Medical School: Weeks 10-12

The last three weeks have been a bit crazy.  Medical school has been pretty involved (who would've thought?!) and apparently society as we know it has begun to implode on itself.

As far as medical school goes...in anatomy we went over the head. That's right, the entire head. This includes cranial nerves, the eye, ear, tongue, facial muscles, and glandular tissue. In physiology we went over the respiratory system and histology was mostly a review of previous material while touching upon the eye, ear, and lungs.

As far as the current state of the world, there was a presidential election in the US. If this is news to you I'd encourage you to get out a little more. When it comes to topics as volatile and polarizing as politics I like to keep to myself for the most part. Occasionally I'll share something if I feel I can really add to the conversation, but I think most everything that can be said has been said. However, after watching post election social conduct I feel that I might have some social etiquette tips. This also ties quite nicely into my medical education because apparently adult medical students have to have course work specifically concerning appropriate social etiquette and professionalism (read my last post). So medical professionals, pay especially close attention to the following advice.


"I'll pray for you"
When you disagree with someone and are fed up with the conversation don't terminate your interaction with the phrase "I'll pray for you". You may think it makes you sound loving and respectful when disagreeing with others but it doesn't. When you finish a phrase with "I'll pray for you" you're essentially saying, "You're opinion is so wrong that you're going to Hell and therefore you need someone as good as I to pray for you." Do you see how that might be taken the wrong way? For those of you that struggle with this, may I suggest a different approach. Just stop talking when you're done with conversation instead of suggesting hellfire.

"Calm down"
Sometimes people feel strongly about things and that's okay. We don't have to understand why they feel so strongly about something or even agree with them. We just have to learn to live with them and that can mean a lot of things. Maybe you just have to ignore them while they defuse or maybe they just need a hug. But whatever you do, don't tell them to calm down. As a married man I can tell you the solution to calming an emotionally distraught individual is not to command them to calm down (or even kindly suggest it). Only use this phrase if you want to make the person your talking to a lot less calm.

"I forgive you"
This one can be a bit tricky, so the safest route is to just avoid the phrase unless it's specifically required. Even if someone is apologizing it can come off as a bit condescending, especially if the apology is over something that is somewhat petty. However, the biggest thing to avoid is forgiving someone who doesn't know or admit to doing anything wrong. For example, my wife may tell everyone that my favorite type of pie is pumpkin (it's not and she did). I could accost her with, "I forgive you for spreading those dirty rumors about my pie preferences," or I could just talk to her like a normal person about chocolate satin pie. When you blatantly tell someone you forgive them it sounds like you're so great that you're descending from your lofty throne to bestow upon them your gift of forgiveness. Even if they did something that needs forgiving it's not gonna go over well.
So maybe the next time a group of people does something to disappoint you don't change your status on Facebook to "I forgive you".

"I understand"
No you don't. Whether you're trying to commiserate or things have just come full circle I can promise that you don't understand. Even if you do you don't. My wife has been pregnant twice in the last three years and I'm well acquainted with her experiences throughout this process. I know that when she's pregnant she feels nauseous because her sense of smell outperforms that of a blood hound's. But that doesn't mean I understand her nausea. I don't personally have morning sickness even if I know it will be occurring. To say "I understand" is essentially to say I know what it feels like and I don't. Even if I did understand exactly what it feels like it wouldn't help to tell you that. Let's say you get a paper cut. Would this interaction be helpful at all

You: "I have a paper cut!"
Mr. Not Helpful: "I too have had a paper cut."
You: "I'm bleeding. Can you get me a band-aid?"
Mr. Not Helpful: "When I had a paper cut that one time I needed a band-aid."
You: "Yes, you had a paper cut but can you get me a band-aid?"
Mr. Not Helpful: "Oh yes, I desperately needed a band-aid and you didn't get me one."
You: "That's unfortunate and all, but I'm suffering right now. Please help or stop talking!"
Mr. Not Helpful: "Ah yes, I also remember feeling disgruntled and angry."

At it's best it's unhelpful and at it's worst it sounds like vengeful recompense.

Whether its medical school, natural disasters, or Donald Trump you still have to live. In the words of Ferris Bueller:

 "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." 

So remember to listen to music, play with balloons, and trash your parent's house a little. You'll feel a lot better afterwards. I know that Addie and Zoey did.

Addie and Zoey celebrating democracy!

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